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Cute But Sad But Also Funny

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Written by: Thor

I'm not big on comics. I'll read Garfield Minus Garfield or Dilbert or xkcd or Dinosaur Comics or Cyanide & Happiness - but there's not a great deal of others. Now, you may have noticed something about these comics. They're webcomics. I think JPEG, PNG, BMP or whatever else file format they're presented in is a good format for a comic. Print? Yes, it's fine - but I don't want to buy the rag that is the Daily Mail every day just so I can read its wonderful The Odd Streak comic strip (which is actually really good). The Internet? I can check it every day and get the latest instalment on my screen. Cute But Sad Comics does both.

CBSC has a smattering of online pictures - including a disturbing history of AIDS, which is best left on the web - and then there's print booklets of strips called Anthropomorphism In Action. I've got a copy of Volume 4, which you can also buy for just three quid (or you could, but it's yet to be added to the shop).

Badgers aren't renowned for their media dominance. Besides the snake-fearing animated ones from Weebl's Stuff and the mashed potato fanatic of Bodger & Badger, can you think of another celebrity of the Mustelidae genus? Here's a new one for you, then.

The lonely badger comic, the predominate strip in this volume, is at stark odds with the high spirits of the other strips. It's this defiance of expectation which makes the sadness that bit more affecting. While the strip conveys a sense of sadness (and, of course, cuteness) and is well-drawn, it suffers from a slight lack of narrative to begin with, but quickly makes up for this enough to have you feeling sad by the final panel. The squirrel strip offers a manic squirrel on a quest for nuts - and it succeeds in presenting this story quite while and in an amusing way. That's all you can ask for, really.


By far my favourite thing about Anthropomorphism In Action are the couple of bronchioles who appear in three strips - on the cover, and two inside. They're brilliant in all three. It's not to everyone's taste, but I find them fantastically funny. Surreal and meta-jokey in a Monty Python sort of way, the bronchioles should be commissioned for a daily newspaper. Their dry humour makes "Bronchioles At Christmas" one of my favourite comic strips I've seen recently.

Is Anthro... worth its £3 price? I don't think it is. However, I would pay that amount just so that the author is encouraged to go out and produce more of the great bronchioles and perhaps provide the badger with a glimmer of hope and happiness. So the price is justified and the comics are good.

Labels: anthropomorphism in action, comic strip, Comics, cute but sad

Author: Thor | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

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[Site/s of the Moment] Mbc Networking

Written by: Hashpipeofdoom



Mbc Networking is a business working out of The United Kingdom, and comprises of Mbc Hosting and Mbc Designz. Mbc offers a wide range of services: including web and graphic design, web content management, flash design, hosting, and MMORPG creation. Backed up by a small but highly dedicated team of professionals working around the clock to provide great customer support, as well as affordable custom packages to suit the needs of all consumers, the sky is, as the proverb goes, the limit for Mbc.



As of the 21st November 2008, we at the Three Rs N3twork are proud to announce a working partnership with Mbc Networking.

Labels: Randomness, site of the moment

Author: Hashpipe of Doom | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

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Chocolates and Laughs

Author: Candice [= | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

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Videogame Developers And Their Communities

Friday, November 21, 2008

Written by: Melaisis



Also known as ‘The Fallout 3 Fiasco’.
Recently, Bethesda Softworks have taken a few direct hits to their ego from certain establishments over public relations moves that have gone down as well as a ‘yo momma’ joke in an orphanage. The studio has been attacked for their laziness, and even one of their recent shenanigans is acclaimed to be the beginning of a reign of a whole different type of videogame censorship. Fortunately for Bethesda; they have a friend in me. Personally, I believe that these attackers know as much about developing and producing a game successfully as I do about the Large Hadron Collider (how current, eh?). Yet Bethesda’s actions could, potentially, spur on a new wave of community-to-studio relations globally which may not be as successful as we’ve seen in the past. Unlike other articles of mine, perhaps some of my smarter readers will actually sympathise with my own viewpoints. Allow me to elaborate:

Bethesda Softworks vice president Pete Hines has stated that his company largely ignored advice from users during Fallout 3 development.

Dedicated Fallout fans and forum rioters swamped Bethesda with complaints about the more Oblivion-like direction it was taking the franchise.

Bethesda chose to stick with its own direction and only take "feedback from the people who are actually playing the game."

"When you're designing a game, you have this group of people on the inside who are working on it every day and who know everything about the decisions that are being made," he explained. "You don't just take a chunk of that, throw it out to the community and say, 'We don't know how this question works, so let's ask the fans.' You're working and changing every day - it's a constant, fluid process. It's not like we say, 'Okay, everything is done now, let's see what they say then go back and change it.'"

More important than forcing game changes based on what gamers want is testing the title in-house with those who developed it, says Hines.

"We're big believers in playing the game, putting things in and then letting folks see how it feels, as opposed to 'Oh, that sounds terrible!' It turns out that ideas that sound terrible, when slightly tweaked, can be fucking awesome in the game. And it's sometimes the case that awesome-sounding ideas will suck when you actually put them in. You're never a slave to how something is written on paper - you put it in the game and play it. You have to take feedback from the people who are actually playing the game."

Outrageous, eh? We’ve seen it before: Developers not listening to fan feedback and keeping things in closed beta leads to disastrous results. Recent example? Check out Age of Conan; they used open beta as a typical stress test, but they overlooked the thousands of bugs and holes which made sections of the game (especially later on) down-right unplayable simply because their in-house testing team had not discovered or reported them. When it was released, thousands of players complained about such errors, but Funcom totally ignored even the most popular threads of complaints, insisting that things were ‘working as intended’. Unfortunately, in this example the corporation was so stuck up and ignorant to their own playerbase that they paid dearly for it within days following launch.

But I do agree with Bethesda’s thinking, however. On a basic level, a single-player game (Fallout 3) is different from a MMO (AoC). With a MMO, you depend on your community to keep the thing alive; they pay for your tech staff, tech support, customer support, server upkeep and developers; putting food on the table for three hundred (or more) staff. When you make a decision to reject that – basically your only source of income for the next four years - then it isn’t a surprise that you’re going to get screwed in the arse. A strong community can also come up with the odd, reasonable new suggestion (such as an item or location) you can slap into the game in a future expansion. With a single-player game, you don’t really require that level of dedication from fans; their initial purchase of your product is all you aim for. Sure, you may opt to throw in a few patches after is something is terribly wrong with the game, but usually all bugs are ironed out during testing.

Single-player games are also severely limited. It may be ‘an open world’ but whoever plays the game is gonna get the same introduction cutscene and be encouraged to follow the same story. Sure, it’s an ‘open world’ but who gives a rat’s arse? You’re simply not going to play it as much as a MMO and thus the chances of bugs are cut down ridiculously by chance alone. Oblivion was so infested with bugs that it brought in professional biologists for a look, but recall that was some years ago now; they’ve learned how to test a game properly (we hope) and Bethesda are sticking to what they’re good at. Funcom (as well as their fellow genre-changing peers) made the giant leap from adventure games with a huge story and some amazing artwork into the gritty world of MMOs; it certainly was an interesting announcement, but it really didn’t go down too well when it came to making the actual game fun, eh? Alright, I’ll stop with the Conan hate now.

So if the fans ain’t being used for fly-swatting, but what about content creation? Well, as Peter suggests, Bethesda has been making games since some of these whiners were in nappies (some still are). Surely, they have refined their art of what and what not to include in gameplay now, even if they are experimenting with new features (like that weird mix of third-person shooter but RPG elements they’ve got going on) and will definitely have a direction for design in the story too. This means that the majority (and I do mean, 99.9%) of player suggestions are going to be a little… off. That is to say that incorporating a dragon battle or arming the player with a katana may be a little out of place. Sure, we all have our picture of an ideal game*, but this is being made by Bethesda – not you. No matter how much you love the series, or how much you’re paying for a game; you’re still not part of their staff and therefore not really qualified to try and determine what everyone wants while trying to keep your own direction: That is the really hard part of PR: Think Bruce in Bruce Almighty trying to keep up with all those prayers or, if you believe Jim Carrey to be an idiot** think Bender in Futurama in the episode where he accidentally becomes a god; trying to listen to everyone's suggestions at once and acting on them. Managing all those raging, hormonal followers whilst trying to still generate buzz for the game has been the downfall of many a community manager; if it isn’t balanced right, things could lean towards disastrous PR.

What’s my overall opinion? I’m fully in support of Bethesda ignoring their fans’ suggestions, but bare in mind I’m simply a glorified troll and they’re a highly experienced developer studio. I do believe that any major release nowadays must follow this trend; if only in part. It is important to always remember why you’re making the game: Is it for the fans? Or is it so anyone - including yourself - can play and you’re simply using the fans as a great, hearty backdrop and support base? I’m not saying ‘fuck the fans’ completely, but rather nudge studios to take the latter option over the former. Simply: If a studio is competent and has a open-minded, in-house team that are worth the money they’re paid in the first place, then there should be absolutely no reason to take spoonfuls of community feedback as gospel; especially considering how unrefined and spontaneous some suggestions can be. Unless, of course, the game itself relies on community support (See: Darkfall, opening of World of Warcraft) but even then strict moderation should be employed to make sure the power of the masses doesn’t become too great (think that class forums are hid nicely away in their own sub-section of the website). Communities should remember there is a fine line between support and making rude demands; don’t fall into the trap of being blasé or else the developer will really start to dislike you. We can all think of certain whiny arseholes we’ve encountered that just don’t know when to shut up.

Thoughts?

Melaisis is still a freelance writer for anything from The Escapist to PC Gamer UK. He helps run a daily blog over at The Three Rs - which deals with all sorts of cultural issues, from an alphabet using Halo corpses to cybersex.

Oh, a quick final word:Gamers in Australia who are upset about being stuck with an edited version of Fallout 3 can rest easy - it turns out the entire world is getting the same modified version you are.

After being refused classification by Australia's Office of Film and Literature Classification, a decision which effectively banned the sale of the game, changes were made to some parts of the game's content in order to make it more palatable to the country's censors. Bethesda Softworks has steadfastly refused to comment specifically about what modifications were made, but it's widely accepted that references to drugs, a staple of the Fallout games, were the cause of all the problems.

Oh come on; it’s hardly a landmark in game politics; all it is changing the names of a few drugs within the game - not affecting the overall experience in the slightest.

What, that we're all suffering for the fascism of the Australian government, and if this trend continues then the will of one absurdly conservative government on the other side of the world will end up having shockwaves on the global market? I never said it wasn't a bad thing but - as others have said - it is nothing to write home about. Sure, there is a possibility that other developers could take the same view as Bethesda's laziness and any alterations that are forced on them in one part of the world will be applied elsewhere, or that a single fascist government could dictate what the entire Western world plays but honestly; talk about panicking over a fire when there's only smoke and ashes. We've been worrying about censorship since Jack Thompson and what has changed in the industry, exactly?


Just because one studio decided to opt for the E-Z route when it came to manufacturing the game to get by censors doesn't mean that everyone will start doing it.

*My ideal game is actually worth another blog entry in itself: Basically, it’s about two main characters: The first is an ‘indigo adult’ who is pursued constantly by a mysterious racoon, which he slowly learns to live with and treats as a partner/weapon. The second character is a 25 year old retired J-pop star on the run from her dead sister (now an onryō) after a series of unfortunate events led to her death. Brought together by the walls of time and space collapsing, the two (alongside the racoon, with the player as the male lead) traverse a city together; the bond slowly growing as they seek to discover the undoing of the universe. Think of it being a mixture of Ico with Condemned or Fatal Frame, with horror elements stemming from John Dies At The End. Furthermore, I’d incorporate the lesser-used scary elements of videogames. You know how survival-horror games like to include ‘safe’ rooms so people can get their bearings, safe and calm down? Well such safe rooms would only appear to exist in my game. Furthermore, remember that part in Metal Gear Solid 2 where the S3 technology breaks the fourth wall and tells you to turn of your console? A scare like that is unexpected and genuinely frightening in a whole new way, I feel.

**I’ve loved him since he did a dinosaur impression in Series of Unfortunate Events.

Images subject to copyright laws. All are properties of their respective owners. News stories courtesy of The Escapist.

Labels: bethesda, developer, devil's advocate, fallout 3, fans, futurama, ideal game, Melaisis, Randomness

Author: Melaisis | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

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Thought Bubble 2008 Coverage Part Two: Famous Faces, Panels

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Written by: Melaisis (Scott Constantine) and Dee4leeds (Dietrich Jeffreys)

Read Part One.

Mel's notes in blue. Dee's in red.


Lots of people around. Lots of people signing comics. Unfortunately, such individuals did little more than highlight mine and Dee's own ignorance of this niche. Hopefully Dee will remember the names and origins of such famous(?) faces, but I was simply impressed at how popular these folks were. Seriously, they were never sat around without being harassed by adoring fans. Again, praise to how well they dealt with such pressure. I was definitely more informed than Scott. Closest to the camera is Alex Marleev.


"Yeah, mate. We're just taking a few pictures. Just keep doing what you're doing!" Note the excitement on the face of the bloke in the Silver Surfer t-shirt.


Seriously, how these artists can do such detailed and good drawings in simply minutes is beyond me. Because it's their job.


I simply can't get over how popular these artists were, especially since many had only worked in the era of 90s Marvel and are running solo or spin-off projects now. Imagine what would happen if they bagged a large-scale science-fiction name (Abrams! JJ. Abrams!) or an infamous blogger or two. What's that Thought Bubble? You'd love for me to sign copies of Tommy Tutone CDs for the crowds of fans who love me!? I'd love to!


Even the indie folks were receiving some much-deserved attention from the crowds as they drew and coloured samples live. Again, I was severely impressed by the level of quality present.



The art scatted about on various tables was definitely... varied. As I'm sure Dee will agree - I would have happily browsed through all of the collections available for all to read for the duration of the day. Seriously, the level of quality even in the samples for some of these pieces - from independent comics - was amazing. I didn't think the detail and high quality of these prints was possible in such independent comics.


Cool. Its great how 'fan art' can reach such high standards.


Pictured (unless the programme is wrong): Doug Braithwaite (Secret Invasion: Thor), Barry Kitson (Amazing Spider-Man), Alex Maleev (Daredevil) and er... apparently 'hot new talent' David Lafuente (Ultimate Spider-Man Annual); all from the morning Marvel panel. Dee stayed to watch this. The panel was, in my opinion, the most interesting and humorous of the day. Having my comic specialty in Marvel, I felt more at home than in the Manga and independent panels. I was hoping to gain Thor's hammer from Doug but alas it did not happen. They were often self-censoring themselves, knowing the information they held about the future of Thor, Spider-man etc. was wanted by the audience. I did have the urge to ask them "DC or Marvel" but they all seemed fond of both.



Speak up, Doug! People are going to sleep on you!


The Independent Comics Panel took place in the very swanky Alea Casino. Whilst the picture makes the thing look a tad boring, I thoroughly enjoyed it and it wasn't simply the lot of them moaning about how the comic industry was inaccessible for budding talent. Despite the entire thing being totally ad lib, all of the participants raised good points. The three main participants (Kieron Gillen, Marc Ellerby and Jamie McKelvie avec host) presented the topics surrounding that side of the industry - from getting a publisher to joining anthologies - in a very down-to-Earth way that made it accessible to people such as me and Dee; who both didn't have a bloody clue when we first walked in. They deserve massive kudos for teaching us - and the others in the room - something. If you wish to learn more about this aspect of the business, then I suggest you check out any editorial by the above. To Google!


Huzzah, now RAM Raider has a new picture to replace Kieron avec beard on the Awards page! We even left it un-watermarked so you can use it, Rammy! ;)



I think its quite fitting to end on this picture, as it perfectly summarises the spirit of Thought Bubble: People coming together to look at comics, socialise and draw. Wait, is that a bird on the top of that book?! Now the post is over I will now enjoy a nice box of Pocky bought at Thought Bubble!

Thanks to everyone who attended Thought Bubble. Even greater thanks to the organisers who pulled it off with such efficiency, as well as the exhibitors. If we passed your stand on the day and didn't get back to you, drop me a line on SConstantine@thethreers.co.uk and we'll organise some press. If any of you are budding artists, we're on the look-out, so feel free to send me an e-mail to the above address too. Any of you are open to comment/plug your site in the section below.

Labels: Dee4leeds, Melaisis, part two, press, thought bubble, thought bubble festival

Author: Melaisis | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

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Thought Bubble 2008 Coverage Part One: Introduction, Cosplayers

Written by: Melaisis (Scott Constantine) and Dee4leeds (Dietrich Jeffreys)


Hi guys, Scott here. Last Saturday we had the distinct privilege of covering one of the fastest-growing alternate-culture events in the North of England: Thought Bubble. This post works as a (albeit random) running narrative of the events we witnessed throughout the day. My notes are in blue and Dee's are in red. Please note that our commentary may not be as extensive as first predicted. This is, after all, our first major press event (sure, we've covered gigs and whatnot before, but really) and for the majority of the time, we were simply engrossed in our environment and learning so much stuff to actually focus on making notes on the way. Due to the length of the post, I've decided to split it into two parts and both will appear on the usual TheThreeRs.co.uk (as the watermark suggests) and the upcoming 'MyScen3.com'. Our high-quality photos were provided by Photography 1 (hopefully he'll comment this post with a link to his new website?). Excuse my own tongue-in-cheek take on things; I honestly did enjoy myself.

TooLong;Didn'tRead Version: Awesome experience. Highly recommended. Look at the pretty pictures.

Let's Begin!

We arrived at the swanky venue (Saville's Hall, Leeds) shortly after ten, after some delay. The nerdy feel was upon us immediately, as patrolling the queue outside was a bunch of the folks dressed up from the New Jedi Order (again, hopefully they'll comment this with a link to their site). It was a great start, and the theme of cosplay and people disregarding all social norms was to be repeated throughout the day.


Notably, despite their name, there were no Jedis present with the NJO. :'(


Which is just as well, as they would have certainly been blasted to pieces instantly!


Its a shame any of these folks didn't enter the cosplay competition later on, actually. I'd say they'd definitely win, considering how every outfit has to be custom-made to their size.


We stepped inside the small lobby and picked up our passes. As you can see, the line of paying punters was pretty large; a great sign for the scene in the city. Especially considering that Thought Bubble has had quite minimal publicity (although we plugged 'em!). Kudos to the level of professionalism conducted by the staff, too, even when talking with such strange, dressed up characters. I think they were enjoying the atmosphere more than the actual visitors, definitely something to tell the children. "I helped protect the Stormtroopers."


The place was packed. I believe Dee's first words to me were something along the lines of 'Oh. My. God; Nerd Overload' so take that how you wish. I had not expected so many people there for so early in the morning, yet there was the masses - ready to barter their way into comicdom. Considering myself a nerd, it was a compliment.


Really speaks for itself. This picture really demonstrates the willingness and eagerness and the designers to show the visitors their work.


Banners such as these littered the entire show floor. I think we were all severely impressed by the level of detail and scale of the things. Big and pretty, eh? And I'm not necessarily referring to the woman on the front.


Hell, if the comic was anywhere near as epic as the backpanel, I would certainly pick it up!


Pandas. In giant robots. In a comic. Need I say more?


More panda-related madness. Except this time on t-shirts. We didn't buy any, mind. Sorry.


Whilst this guy's freebies are currently sat on my desk, waiting to be reviewed, the guy who was sat next to him provided us with Ironwerkz and was really quite nice.


What is The Hunter? We don't know. Why has this man got stacks of free samples? We don't know that either. What we do know is that he provided some nifty art.


The show floor was stacked with such merchandise. Everything from unreasonably hairy models of the Japanese TV show character 'Domo' to Wonder-Woman dolls. If it exists in comics, it was probably available as a 6-inch figurine in a box. And viewable on Scott's shelf.


Why am I posting this guy's picture? Whyever not!? Who can say no to that jacket!? Maybe because his art was very detailed?


Ahem.



My hand looks so bony! Anyway, during the day this picture and a few others was laid out and bypassers were given pens and asked to colour in a section of the drawing. As expected, by the end of the event they were covered in Internet meme references and 'creative' use of... different combinations to cause some really original effects.


Check out the ruddy novel this girl is writing at the top of the paper!


Cosplay (the act of people dressing up as their favourite Anime/Manga/TV Show/Movie character) was a very prominent theme during the 'Fest; encouraged by how such dedicated fans gained free entry.


"Yarr!"


Hah! Octavius started off the day in-character, but I feel he was sick of people asking where Spider-Man was by lunch. On a related subject: I was surprised that no one had come as Spider-Man, or is that some sort of ultra-nerdy faux pas?


It seems this red team failed to notice the blue amongst them! Its a spy!


Er... I don't remember taking this picture, Steve!


No, it wasn't there to promote the DVD release of Kung Fu Panda. Just more panda related antics at Thought Bubble!


Dee reckoned that Princess Zelda (above) would easily win the afternoon cosplay contest. I could see where he was coming from; her costume was excellent and really detailed. However, it occurred that the competition was won by someone not even Okatu-related: A (albeit chunkier) Doctor Who. Damn it, why didn't L from Death Note win!? I did later give my vote to Doctor Who, who played the character best.


The miner/marine, thing. Dressed up for the Deadspace exhibit. The costume must have been damn heavy, but it looked awesome. Available on Wii? ...no.


The first part of the DeadSpace exhibit. The admirable bloke in the suit came in the second section. The first segment was simply the above: A trailer about the game. The latter half was a gameplay experience, which was great 'cause I'd already played it and owned serious amounts of arse (although Dee will probably dispute this). Anyway, when we were being talked-up to come into the little crate where they'd set up, I mentioned how buggy the game was. The PR guy informed me that he worked for EA and my sentiments would sincerely be passed on. I won't make a comment on that, because I don't mind the publisher in the slightest (don't play Spore or Mass Effect on the PC, so DRM is a load of irrelevant nonsense to me). Still, what is said and what is done are two separate things. If you were under-18 and couldn't enter the exhibit: Have no fear, as it really wasn't worth it.


These guys were great. You've got to respect blokes who openly attempt to publicise a comic called 'Fetish Man'. I'm not sure if they were in cosplay or actually dress like that, though. Fetish? Man? Where was I?

Read Part Two.

Labels: comic convention, kieron gillen, new jedi order, photography 1, pictures, The Three Rs on tour, thor's day, thought bubble, thought bubble festival, tom newell

Author: Melaisis | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

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Stop Trying To Be Artsy. Stop Trying To Push Your Hidden Messages. Stop Making Films.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Written by: Hashpipeofdoom

Sincerest apologies in advance. This article was originally intended to bear my first foray into serious reviewing - the 'R' that I am yet to touch. However, despite my attempts to bite my tongue and write something serious and insightful, the sheer frustration induced by watching an independent film has crushed my once-vibrant soul. I swear, if one more irritating thing decides to besmirch my day, I'm going to become a vengeful hermit, living in an underground cave 30 miles beyond the farthest reaches of civilisation, and slowly perfecting my crazed blueprint for a death ray.

So, the film I was intended to review. Ironwerkz. Ironwerkz, as it proudly professes via it's web page, was commissioned by the YMPA as part of the UK Film Council's Digital Shorts scheme. The YMPA stands for 'Yorkshire Media Production Agency'. If you didn't know, don't worry about it. Neither did I before a quick Google search. Now, I'll try to be positive, but forgive me if I rip the entire independent film scene to shreds during the course of this article. Anything that tries to be too 'artsy' or metaphorical is never going to gain my seal of approval. And that's where Ironwerkz, along with many independant films, leave their throats exposed.

I really don't see why so many small time film makers have to make their films so artsy. Nothing is straight forward. It's all left to your imagination - which is a problem to me. If I watch a film, I expect it to make sense. I don't want to have to make sense of it. Because then it's not a film, it's a puzzle. I didn't want a puzzle. There's a reason why all Hollywood Blockbusters have a plot, a natural progression, and plenty of internal explanation of events. It's because I'm not some loon who speaks for himself. Very few people like having to work out the meanings behind a visual production. People like sense. People like explanations. And more importantly still, people like plots. Which was something that I didn't find a trace of within Ironwerkz. Not even an attempt at a plot. Somewhere down the line, the brains behind it all sat down, and asked themselves - "Should I include a plot? Or should I just cram some hidden meaning down people's throats, and say it's artistic?" They chose the latter.

I understand it must be hard to fit a plot into a 15 minute film, so on this count, I'll let it slide. It hasn't pissed me off severely enough to make me write a full, horrible rant yet. But oh dear - it won't stop trying. It's determined to aggravate me, in spite of my threats to become a death-ray building recluse. Now, in addition to the lack of plot, reasoning, sense or vague suggestion to just what the fuck is going in, the characters don't speak. At all. They laugh, on one solitary occasion, for the space of about half a second. But speaking? No, that's been outlawed in the weird, quasi-Victorian island on which the 'film' takes place. Sorry, I don't like calling it a film. I'll try to refer to it, from here on out and more often than not, as a production. It annoys me a little less to give it a vaguer label.

Again, this is artsy bollocks. I want my characters to say things, to communicate with each other - or it just becomes utterly disjointed from reality. You don't walk around in life never speaking to anyone, ever. So to watch a series of characters doing so on screen... It puts up this brick wall, between yourself and the characters, the production. It refuses to allow you to immerse yourself in it. They've erected a large electrified fence, with an accompanying sign that reads "Piss off." I don't like that. I don't like to be told to piss off by a living, breathing human. But when a film more or less says the same thing, I get really annoyed. I wanted to be able to dive into the production, associate with the characters, understand their emotions, and appreciate the article as whole. But as soon as I do so, I'm pushed away, and find myself sat back in my seat, wondering what I've done to offend them so much they won't even talk.

By now, I've cultivated quite a rivalry with independant productions like Ironwerkz. Perhaps I'm just a cynical, nihilistic, and general unpleasant person... Scrap that. I know I'm a cynical, nihilistic, and general unpleasant person. But none the less, I've been offended. By a recording. It didn't even have to acknowledge me to offend me. It probably offended me through intentionally and repeatedly refusing to acknowledge me. It didn't want to respect me. It didn't want to explain itself to me. It didn't want to understand what I expected of it. I'm not sure if Ironwerkz is part of a small group of independant productions that do this, or whether it's a genre-wide habit. I'd rather not know.

But I'm being negative again. To be fair, Ironwerkz wasn't a total slap in the mouth. It has it's redeeming features. The CGI was quite impressive, even for the increasing quality you see in all corners of life. The musical score was, though nothing inspirational, well above satisfactory. The acting, for the most part, was reasonable. At times, notably at the beginning, it was pretty stiff, and generally unbelievable. Moving onwards, the standard slowly climbed, until it was of bearable quality. And the character design was probably the one aspect of the film that genuinely made me take notice - at least, in a positive sense. Those of you that read my previous post will know that I take originality in character design very seriously. It gives a poor production the chance to make itself stand out. Ironwerkz recognises this, and takes advantage of it. The mechanical metal-mouthed monster of a man, who plays quite the irritating character, looks remarkable. If I could commend the production for just one thing - it would be for the appearance of this character, and this character alone.

Ironwerkz tries. I can say that for it. It's a valiant attempt. However, its attempts are focused poorly. It takes a decent idea, then sucks out sense, injects morals and messages, smears it with the film making equivalent to modern art, and throws it out there as a film. To some, this will probably be a masterpiece. Certainly, to someone more accepting of the scene on a whole, it will receive generally favourable reviews. But today, it was my turn to review. And I'm sorry, but I like films that feel like the finished article. If I wanted to use my imagination, I'd make a film myself, not patch up somebody else's.

Oh, and, since I couldn't be bothered using my own mind, I decided to research online what, exactly, Ironwerkz was supposed to represent.

"In an isolated Gothic junkyard, a boy finds forbidden love with a girl from the outside world and dreams of escaping his repressive family. But his father and grandfather arrange a surprise party that will change his life forever."

Having seen the production, I kind of understand how it could represent this. Kind of. I only wish it would have made it more clear. Then again, I suppose having a cast of mutes can do that.

Mel's Note: I also watched Ironwerkz and found it quite amusing, but I'm not sure in what way. As Hash not-so-subtly suggests: It is an arty film but the message really required to be refined a little more before being put into production. A great concept, but ruined by a low budget and hazy writing.

Labels: Artistic, Gothic, Independent Films, Ironwerkz, metaphorical, movies, Review, YMPA

Author: Hashpipe of Doom | Comments: | Leave Your Response?